That is still a mystery to me. I think we need to feel all that we feel instead of trying to push it away or keep so busy we CAN'T feel it and let the grief process fully happen. Having positive, high-quality relationships is the single most important factor to your long-term well-being and the quality of your life. Anonymous. If you miss your ex-boyfriend, push past the negative feelings. It is probably past time that I get some help (counseling/antidepressants) because I'm seriously stuck. 0 0. But the minute my brain slows down even a little, he sneaks right back in. i too am still hurting a lot after 7 months after my breakup and no connection - i still cry about it a little almost every day. I loved him and I thought he was the one. I am going through the exact situation after being with a girl 14 years from age of 17/18 engaged to me married, moving in buying a house. I know as dumb as it sounds, deep down, my ex still has my heart. We all understand that breakups are meant to be difficult and painful. Rolling over and dying....that is not an option. Wow... you are not alone, my friend. You think. I was with my ex for 4 years. You body will process it and each day will hurt less and less until one day you wake up and you won't think about it again. Destress. I hope my rambling helped. You may feel wrong and guilty when you miss or even think about a toxic ex, but here is why it's OK to still be slightly affected by a breakup even years after the fact. Sometimes I feel desperate because I wonder if I'll ever get back into a loving relationship, which I crave. Suddenly, your body is tired and you sleep better...and then you feel better and act better. But I feel like I will never be the happy caqre free person i have always been before this. I have been in serious relationships before, been married, have kids, but have never been hit this hard before. She is still living with this loser and is now in another town. In October, we had a … At the time i was still having little feelings for my ex crush. How could this happen to me? Paste as plain text instead, × First of all, the most obvious reason is Love. I can relate to what has happened to you , I just got out of a 4 year relationship 6 months ago and boy do I still feel some gut wrenching pain. And sometimes I feel like I'm old and gonna be alone the rest of my life. Its never been me, sometimes I wonder if this is just what happens after hitting 40 that it all just gets weary or just takes longer to get over relationships the older you get? If your able too, start excersing for you and set mini goals to achieve excersie is a great stress relief and recommend to combat stress and depression. ts been 6 months since he broke up with me (he said he just didn't love me anymore) and i miss him so much. He was everything to me, together 2 years, dumped me by txt, moved on with new g/f after 6 weeks, now she has moved in with him, have had very little contact. Not necessarily the best solution, but for the moment it's all I've got. Eventually it has to get better. I've been trying to figure out why I can't move on. What you had...what you should of had. yet for some reason this last break-up has been harder on me than any other. How you derailed somehow. Relaxing the body relaxes the mind far more than the other way around. My ex and I were together for about 6 months, after which he temporarily relocated to a new city. This last breakup that happened 4 months ago after a 2 plus year relationship has absolutely devestated me. Really. 5 Reasons You Still Miss Your Abusive Ex! i think the main thing for me is that i blame myself for most of the bad things that went on in the relationship. with him i could be myself and i was feeling peace. And that’s normal. i haven't tried to contact him and i won't ever see him again. My last boyfriend left me suddenly 2 months ago. I discovered this at the height of my pain … perhaps it is related to how much you had invested in the relationship. I too tend to have better days and then WHAM!! What ever your still feeling even tho it may hurt it is exactly what your suppose to be feeling right now. After I started to feel better, people started to come back in to my life. Facebook. It's the only way thru to the other side but it's a tough road getting there. If you want to discover why exes come back after years, you should know that … i too am still hurting a lot after 7 months after my breakup and no connection - i still cry about it a little almost every day. Source(s): I still have an occasional dream about my ex wife 30 years later, though my current spouse of 25 years probably wouldn't approve. As someone who is past 40, I think I get what you mean about it being harder to move on. And then a few days later he said it’s over between us and we should just be friends. I miss my gf from 15 yrs ago.I saw her on facebook but dint have the courage to add her. Try focus on your self do things you never would of done which you always wanted to do. He and I were together for 6 months. Have had therapy since and am happier. Based on these statistics, you will also likely hear from your ex-boyfriend or ex-girlfriend in the first 6 months. Add another one to the crushed and devastated, over-40 crowd. My friends have noticed that although I am back to myself mostly, I am not the fun loving person i always was. Loss of a pregnancy Experienced broken trust on her party not mine.   Your link has been automatically embedded. babysteps at first. Write letters you don’t send. 7 months later and I still miss him! We had our ups and downs in our relationship and broke up a few times but never for more than 2 weeks. The great thing about running a small business is that you can have a new idea today, try it tomorrow and see the customer reaction the next day. When I started to ride my mountain bike every day after work for an hour, it only took a little over a week and the change started to show!!! with him i could be myself and i was feeling peace. So, its going to happen... you will cry, no matter how much or how little you thought it meant to you. My theory is that it has a lot to do with age, and the expectations that I had for our Rship to become a permanent bond. As harsh as this sounds (because I too have been there like you a few years ago AND in my 40's.) Does it mean that I still love him. It was a 5 months relationship. Their certainly isn't anything wrong with what you are feeling. i've not seen or heard from him since. You're Dating Someone New but Your Ex Is Still on Your Mind . I have been on a couple of dates with nice guys but I just dont want anyone else and dont find anyone attractive at all. It's been almost 6 months and I still miss my ex. She up sticks left and replaced my self within 24hrs not saying she got into a relationship after a day but starting flirtatious fling which has developed into a full blow relationship within 2 weeks of splitting. I havent cried about him for months and this past couple of days I am so tearful, even crying writing this. Not going to lie still hurts every time, I think about her. Since our split she has went on a rampage of slander to justify her distrust which everyone sees through but still hurts like nothing Iv experienced before. The first thing you should do is stop thinking theres something wrong with you, because it will only fuel a fire that doesnt need to be. Will I ever forget him? Within a day of us splitting up she starting texting a friends brother and their in a relationship now which hurts that after 14 years and given everything possible to this girl. i have to keep telling myself that whatever things i did wrong were mistakes and if i had known then what i know now, of course i wouldn't have done them. I no longer talk to him or look at photos or social media. The whole mind and body thing. The sadness hits me all over again. I have also been shocked at how overwhelming this breakup has been for me, compared to all others (and all other life events) in the past. You have to respect and love yourself...more. 0 0. In October, we had a … However, that doesn’t mean you’re meant to … and in a year you look back and laugh at where you were. I too can relate. I was broken up with her for 5 months and wasnt getting much better.. if it werent for the fact that we got back together after the 5 months of breakup, I mightve continued to spiral and Id hate to see where Id end up, because after this third breakup, I attempted suicide... so I can definitely relate to whatever youre going through and trust me, theres nothing wrong wiht you. And also not appealing right now to potential mates, they can smell desperation a mile away. Work on growing and evolving yourself. Here are 12 common approaches to take when you miss your ex – some are healthy, others perhaps less so. It’s been two months since my ex-girlfriend and I broke up—or since she broke up with me, I should say—and I’m miserable. It's been almost 6 months and I still miss my ex. Try Relaxing Your Stomach More. It just seems some people take longer than others to get past it all. It took me a few months, but I started to realize that I've still got a lot of things and people in my life to be thankful for. You say. Upload or insert images from URL. I think its a compounding effect when you ask "whats wrong with me?" I keep on wondering why it seems everyone else can move on so easily and I'm being left behind. × I don't miss or even think about her often, but sometimes she'll sneak into a dream after all this time, so what you're experiencing is okay as long as you're trying to learn from the experience and be a better partner to the next one. stickman's onto something there. My advice...get to a gym, ride a bike, go for a swim, take a walk...3-4 times a week. I was married 10 yrs, and my divorce was awful, but for some reason, I am in even more pain from my last breakup. I've noticed that as long as I stay incredibly busy, I'm okay. Some wise person said that if you want to be and look younger, you have to act younger. If you don’t, be patient and give your ex more time. The irony is that if you want to truly make your ex jealous, … If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. the only person that can change how you feel is YOU. She just cut me out and moved on even when I tried to win her back regardless of her faults because i did love her even for her faults she never could be honest as she chose not to tell myself she got into a new relationship which hurt all over again when I found out through the grape vine from mutual friends. In fact, he told a mutual friend that "nobody remembered my birthday." This month marks two years since my ex and I have broken up, and it has taken me the entirety of those two years to realize I still love him. So now I am constantly taking on (what seems like) more than I can handle. But why? i'm sorry you're feeling so badly. You will get some cold answers like "Get over it" or "move on", but yknow what? I fully understand what your going through and i hope this helps x. I tried everything to save our relationship overlooked the miss trust even suggested we speak professionally to someone. By what is wrong with me?. Late 40's, ex-husbands, kids, etc. If miss my ex-boyfriend is on repeat in your head, you need to keep yourself busy. I am in my late 40's, divorced for 10 years after an 18 year marriage, have had several long term relationships during this 10 year period. If we take into consideration only the first 12 months, a total of 86 dumpers broke no contact and contacted their exes after 7.16 months on average. So, you are not alone. This was what my mother said to me earlier this year when I found myself four months post break-up suddenly emotional over what seemed to be a totally innocuous reminder of my ex-boyfriend. If you're still heartbroken over your ex, then you shouldn't be dating someone new. My ex boyfriend broke up with me almost a month ago and we talked a lot afterwards and we did normal couple things but then 2 weeks ago he said we should just be friends, and if there is a possibility of us to get back together we can. The fire of your depression will go down over time as long as you dont feel bad that you havent met some kind of "Deadline" for getting over him. Jerk. It sounds cheesy, but it works! But the one thing that you can’t seem to figure out is why they still occupy so much space in your mind, and you want to know why you can’t stop thinking about this relationship after such a long time. Not the healthiest thing to do all day. I keep thinking "Really, starting over AGAIN?" Talk about whirlwind! The thought of being alone the rest of my life is not appealing. The last thing he said to me was in Jan, when he told me to "get over it and move on". Things you know need fixing within yourself. I am fine for weeks and then it almost hits me all over again. ... My boyfriend of only a few months broke up with me suddenly two months ago, and I still can't get over it. Are you good … I delve into the pros and cons of each one. I would strongly hope that keeps diminishing...for you too! My boyfriend left me by moving a far distance for a new job and led me to believe I would be following him later, but when I got home from work the day he left. April 26, 2010 in Healing After Break Up or Divorce, Well I had a very difficult break up. it seems you are doing all the right things and moving in the right direction by taking care of your mental health by seeing a therapist, and getting on your feet again by working-- all you need now is time and continuing to think positive and doing positive things. But dint have the courage to add her and miss him and I 'm seriously stuck last has... Been automatically embedded again all by yourself act younger myself everything that I need think! Me? figured out a piece of it I started to come in! 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